Stress doesn't just take a toll on your mental health; it affects your physical health as well.

Managing Stress and Building Stronger Connections

In recognition of April as Stress Awareness Month, this masterclass is on how to manage stress. This topic is very near and dear to me because I was someone who lived with toxic stress and I didn't even know it.

Sometimes we are in a state of stress and we don't even realize it because we are used to living that way. It becomes natural and normal to us, but it is not natural or normal, and there are so many side effects. Being able to bring awareness to our stress and manage it is going to change our lives, period.

If you've ever felt stressed, you're not alone. 1 out of 4 people will experience mental health issues in their lifetime, and 60% of adults say that they currently feel stressed out.

Stress is normal and a healthy part of our fight or flight reflex. Its purpose is to keep us safe. However, there's a difference between regular stress and toxic stress. Toxic stress is chronic and it doesn't go away.

The Link Between Mental and Physical Health

What makes some people more prone to toxic stress than others? As an ACEs (adverse childhood experience) advocate, I know very well how the events of our childhood can impact us to this day.

Adverse Childhood Experiences include:

• Physical or emotional abuse

• Physical or emotional neglect

• Sexual abuse

• Household dysfunction

• Exposure to violence

ACEs survivors are wired differently due to their experiences, and are more susceptible to toxic stress and depression as adults. Adults with four or more ACEs are more likely to smoke, and 45% of them report at least one chronic illness.

Even if you're not affected by ACEs, toxic stress can have a serious toll on your health.

Let's talk about what happens in your body when you're in the stress response.

Being in fight or flight is meant to be temporary, to get us away from immediate danger, like a bear in the woods. Adrenaline and cortisol are released to prepare us to fight. Parts of our brain stop functioning, our digestive system slows, our blood pressure rises.

But, what if there isn't a bear in the woods?

Our brains might get stuck in the stress response. That's why it's so important to learn how to manage stress, so we don't get stuck in the loop.

Being in the stress response impacts nearly every system in our body. As far as cardiovascular goes, toxic stress can put you at risk for high blood pressure, heart disease, hypertension, and even stroke!

Your digestive system being slowed due to stress can cause acid reflux, bloating, constipation, IBS, and more. I was someone who struggled with digestion and stomach issues for my whole life. I couldn't figure it out for so long! Until I realized that my adrenals were constantly in overdrive, so of course my body couldn't digest things the right way. Now, I don't have to watch EVERYTHING I eat, I get to have some cheat days!

Thyroid and metabolism issues are also linked to stress. If you're struggling with your weight, metabolism, or thyroid, start thinking about the possibility that stress could be causing these problems.

It almost goes without saying that your mind is affected as well. Anxiety and depression are an inevitable consequence of stress. There's no way to avoid that, because the same neurotransmitters that release serotonin and dopamine also cause the body to go into stress, and they can't do both at once. Cognitive impairment is a common issue with stress, like brain fog and memory and attention issues.

Let's not forget sleep, it's essential to our health. It's the time that your body gets to rest and recover.

Who has an easy time sleeping while they're stressed?

With all this turmoil going on in your body, your immune system is weakened as well. Think back to the last time you were sick. Were you stressed out right before? I'll give you a personal example. Last year, my cousin was in and out of the hospital, and my family was told on Christmas Day that we needed to get there if we wanted to say goodbye. So we all rushed over. My grandpa had also been really sick, and we were really overwhelmed by everything going on and all the life-or-death choices that had to be made. I ended up with a horrible headache that day, and just a couple of days later, I had Covid. I knew right away that my immune system had been compromised due to the stress and overwhelm of the situation.

Regulating Stress & Prioritizing Self-Care

The first step to regulating stress is prioritizing self-care. I know people always talk about it, but it's often easier said than done.

Especially as a Latina woman, I've always been told "put your children first, never you, no matter what happens." So I didn't ever prioritize myself until about 5 years ago, when my kids became adults. I wish that I had learned how to balance that better when I was younger.

If you have young children, remember that you need to put your oxygen mask on first. We hear that all the time, but it's so darn true.

If you're stressed, how do you think that's going to affect your kids? You'll pass that stress onto them and put them at risk for all of those health problems I mentioned before. It's part of ACEs and generational trauma, stress is the gift that keeps on giving! In order to prevent that, self-care MUST be your number one priority. That doesn't mean you spend 24 hours a day at the spa, it means that you intentionally block out some time to focus on yourself. It will make you a better person, parent, friend, boss, or whatever roles you play in your life.

Here are some steps to regulate stress:

1. Increase Awareness & Education

There are a ton of educational resources out there. Find experts on the subject, talk to your friends who are already on that path. Do your work!

2. Build Strong, Supportive Relationships / Support Network

Be in a community that you can rely on. For so long, women have thought that we were alone, that we had to do it all. We developed Wonder Woman complexes that made us think that our value was affected if we couldn't get everything done all by ourselves. But that's not true! We don't always have to be the savior, we don't always have to sacrifice ourselves for everyone else. We can lean on other people.

3. Emotional Expression and Communication

Women have gotten a really bad rap for being "too emotional". We have been shamed into keeping our struggles to ourselves. But being able to express how we feel is an important part of releasing emotions. If we hold that in, it gets trapped in the body. This has real consequences, I recommend you learn more about it in an amazing book called The Body Keeps the Score, by Besser Van Der Kolk. You don't always have to express yourself to someone else either, you can express it in the mirror, write it in a journal, scream into a pillow! There are so many ways to release trapped emotions.

4. Build Resilience

Resilience is the ability to adapt and cope. It's being able to see yourself as the victor, not the victim. When you're in a stressful situation, how do you take action? A funny thing my aunt used to say is "put your big-girl panties on." Assess the situation and decide what you're going to do about it. The ability to bounce back is really important for us to manage stress. Another good way to build your resilience is to get out of your comfort zone, that builds up your confidence.

5. Seek Professional Help from a Trauma-Informed Coach or Therapist

Sometimes, seeking professional support is necessary. Make sure that if you feel that your issues are trauma related, you're finding help from someone who is trauma-informed. A lot of therapists out there are doing things the old school way that isn't as effective as new methods such as CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). Talking it out can take a really long time to see any progress, whereas examining your behavior and getting to the root of the issues is much more empowering.

6. Engage in Holistic & Integrative Healing Treatments

I also recommend holistic treatments like acupuncture, kinesiology, EFT, and and many more that calm your nervous system. These treatments connect your brain with your neurological system and integrate the whole body. Even things like kundalini yoga, sweat lodges, and breath work are really powerful treatments for releasing trapped emotions. I could talk about these all day - just know that there are so many amazing things you can try.

7. Practice Positive Thinking

Some people don't believe in it, but really it's about reframing and shifting your perspective. It changes your attitude, your mood, and it even changes the hormones that get released in your body. And that's a huge thing that people don't realize when it comes to the power of their thoughts - it can either release negative hormones that create stress, or it can release positive hormones that make you happy! So, which would you prefer?

When you find yourself running into stressful thoughts, try to practice gratitude. You have a roof over your head, you have clean water. Do you know how many people in the world don't even have clean water? Another thing that will help us reframe is honoring ourselves and what we have already accomplished. Think about how far you've come, the obstacles you've faced and triumphed over.

Incorporating Self-Care Into Your Daily Routine

• Start with small steps. Self-care is meant to relieve stress, not add to it! Building new habits takes time, make the changes sustainable.

• Schedule it in. Block out the time, or else it probably won't happen. This method is very effective for me, I even put my at-home yoga routine on my calendar.

• Practice mindfulness. I used to struggle with this, but now I practice it without even realizing. Just think about where you are in that exact moment, how your body feels sitting in the chair, who you're with. Put worries about the future on hold for a few moments and just be present.

• Get moving! Exercise is so important. It releases happy endorphins and makes you more positive overall. I always notice a difference when I'm not able to get into the gym for a few days. I recommend movement 3-5 times a week.

• Prioritize sleep.

• Somatic breath work. Breath work is such a great way to release everything in your neurological system. Doing things like Wim Hoff, box breathing, kundalini will bring down cortisol levels. This was such a huge game-changer for me.

• Practice self-compassion. We're usually our own worst critic. We have to stop judging ourselves badly and give ourselves some more compassion and grace!

• Eat healthy to fuel. Think about it, you wouldn't put cooking oil in your engine because you know that would make the motor burn up. So, what are you fueling your body with? I'm not saying don't cheat sometimes, but keep it balanced. Think 80/20 rule.

• Find what works for you! Make sure to keep checking in with yourself to see if what you're trying is actually reducing your stress levels. If not, try something else.

This has been a shortened summary of the April Master Class. If you loved it and want the full thing, or want to hear my other classes, join We Empower Network! You'll get access to so much education, challenges designed to up level your life, and connection with other entrepreneurs like you.